This past month has been crazy! I have gone through so many fresh and exciting experiences, it’s been phenomenal.
After working so hard and ruthlessly for the past 4-5 months I felt the need to leave The Pas and recuperate from the excitement. A couple friends and I left the province to attend a two day music festival in Edmonton. Coming back home I feel relaxed with a changed outlook on everything that had happened so far.
I’ve noticed that I am not the same person I was last year. A year ago I was shy with no ambition, obsessed with having absolute perfection in some aspects of my life and I was fearful of being disliked and judged for who I was. There were so many things I disliked about myself that I’m surprised I wasn’t exhausted from just standing on my feet.
I have these faint memories of me arranging the home I live in to be what I considered perfect. It was so bad that I literally freaked out and obsessed over anything that was even slightly misconstrued. For example, I would lose my hair if the carpet was even insignificantly off centre or if my desk become a bit cluttered. I always had this need to have everything in its place.
Right now, as I write this, I am sitting in a pile of clothes with dishes I have been putting off for about a week and a half. The desk I’m sitting at is completely covered in mail, writing utensils, make up and papers. It boggles me in a joyous way that I am unbothered by the chaotic mess I am in. If you knew me a year or more ago you’d be shocked by the change I am showing these days.
The Fur Queen competition has given so much more than I expected from it. I have a better perspective on what I value and consider ‘important’ in life. I no longer wish to be accepted by anyone other than myself. That is very important to feel as not everyone will accept you and some might try to bend you to suit their needs.
The Fur Queen competition has freed me from the shackles I placed around my own ankles, it gave me the wings to be myself. It is not the winning that I hold value to, but the competing as it shows us our true selves. It gives us the chance to view outside our walls and the power to change what we can not accept. I continue to gain nothing but positivity from this experience and I encourage all the young, wonderfully unique women of this community to join this year. You will gain so much more than you know, and you just might end up surprising yourself.